How To Help Kids Build Self Control
If you look at our Life Skill Alter, you can see Chinese character for Fire 火 turned upside down. Fire can be Spirit, which can save our life and make us have passion and success. But, too much fire destroys. For martial artists, this is important. We need to practice the Life Skill: Self Control.
Let’s look at some simple ways that we as parents and teachers can help our children develop Self Control.
1. Be A Good Finder
It can be easy for us to criticize our children. However, practicing good habits brings positive results. So, we can cultivate those good habits with Positive reinforcement. This way we help to build our child’s confidence which helps immensely with their Self Control.
To build habits, we all need a regimen. But, sometimes, after a long day, it’s easy to let things go. Children are very aware when they break schedule. Not every day has to be an exact replica, although it is good to develop a routine. After dinner, your child may need to clean up. After that, maybe they take a bath. Then, they continue with the rest of their routine that precedes bedtime. Developing a routine builds structure and, over time, children will complete this routine without having to be told. It is a way of self-regulating their own actions.
3. Explain Why
Explaining the reasoning behind the do’s and don’t’s teaches children about consequence. For instance, we need to take our time and explain to children that they cannot stay up all night because their bodies need sleep.
4. Avoid Procrastination
Children copy. They mimic what they see. If they see us spending all day looking at the phone, watching tv or playing on the computer, this could lead them to believe this is the norm. That could mean they might also start procrastinating and/or laziness could easily eat away their self-control.
When cars cuts us off, we really need to turn our “Fire Upside Down”! We can swallow our anger and refrain from shouting. A lapse in our own self-control is not a good example and… Kids Copy!
6. Failure Is Our Friend
In instances when our children have lost his/her self-control, it’s a good idea to give them a chance for redemption. After calmly explaining what went wrong, we can give kids a second chance. They can learn a lesson from experience.
7. Seek Out a Support System
Lastly, if we get our kids involved in a program that has mentors that mirror our values they can follow in a guide’s footsteps to someday become the hero of their story.
One of the best places that supports parents in having their kids learn and grow stronger habits, is Life Skill Martial Arts.
Because the Life Skill Method has the elements of both an individual sport, as well as a team sport. It’s not just a sport, it’s more about personal development.
Seeing our kids struggle with frustration is not fun.
While doing some of these steps is work, Self Control is a powerful ability to have for any person, young or old. In the long run our children will learn how to positively manage their doubts, fears and frustrations by
“Turning Their Fire Upside Down”.